


stareful blues

by intoxicatelou



Series: girls wars [1]
Category: Crossover: Girls (TV)/Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Girls (TV), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Banter, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Force Healing, Grief, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Season 1-2 Adam Sackler, Slow Burn-ish, Vaginal Fingering, crack-ish but weirdly serious, resurrection gone wrong, role play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:47:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23502604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intoxicatelou/pseuds/intoxicatelou
Summary: “I look like him.” Adam says, finishing her thought. “Your guy. The one you were trying to find.”Rey nods, her throat tight.  “His name was Ben.”“Ben.” Adam repeats, imagining a space nut version of himself.
Relationships: Hannah Horvath & Adam Sackler, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey (Star Wars)/Adam Sackler
Series: girls wars [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1714894
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17
Collections: Robot Rainbow 2020





	stareful blues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fairleigh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairleigh/gifts).



> ahhh I have to be honest, this really got away from me. I was trying to make this short sexy and crack-ish but then it just...got real and weirdly tender? I really hope you like this — I'm a bit nervous because I haven't written Star Wars before, but it was a lot of fun challenging myself with this prompt. Thank you for requesting this! After writing this, I think we definitely need more fics in this crossover fandom because there's just *so much* to play around with. 
> 
> Also, I just started watching Girls and I'm not past the second season so I kind of wrote this Adam from my knowledge of those two seasons. This takes place Post-TRoS. 
> 
> as always, comments and kudos are very, very appreciated <3

If you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different people. 

— from _Star Wars: The Force Awakens_

+

Rey finds him. 

It takes her three weeks, but she finds him. It’s dark out when he finally appears in the temple, floating back into her life with a flood of light. She can feel the force of it trickle down her spine, the gaping wound of his absence stitching itself close as her eyes fly open to see him again. 

“Ben,” Rey says quietly, unfolding her legs so she was no longer hovering. She breathes, taking a moment to just look at his silhouette, glowing in shadows of the firelight. His torso is bare, and she hides her blush, even though it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before through their bond. Rey lets a tendril of want slip into their connection, but Ben still doesn’t turn around from where he stands stoically. She hesitates, but then thinks he must be tired from the journey. 

“Ben,” Rey says louder this time, though knowing him he’d probably heard the drum of his name loud and clear in her mind before she even takes a step towards him. Her hand reaches for the familiar pale of his arm. “Ben, it’s me. It’s Rey.” 

He startles then, as if brought to life. He turns around fast enough that if it wasn’t for her Jedi training she’d have gotten an elbow to her face. 

“Ben,” She repeats, in shock and then surprise, as her eyes find his smooth, unscarred face. “Your scar —” 

He trembles and falls to his knees, barely being able to hold himself up. Rey opens her mouth but doesn’t get a chance to finish before he cuts her off, staring at her through a halo of dark hair, his words sharp and decisive. 

“Who the fuck is Ben?” 

+

A few minutes later, Rey has learned that she did not find Ben. She found someone very much _like_ him, a doppelganger with a similar energy signature. His name was Adam and he knew nothing about the Jedi or the force or what kriffing meant when Rey began pacing and mumbling to herself about her stupid mistake, one of Luke’s old books in hand. 

Adam was from Earth, a planet apparently in a galaxy far, far away from where they were, and in the light Rey can see how he isn’t clean shaven and that his hair is a little shorter, more of an unruly mop than Ben’s long locks.

“I’m from New York. Where most people are dicks but some are nice.” Adam says, from where he was lying near the fire. Being forced-kidnapped and teleported through the fabric of space wasn’t exactly easy on the body. Even then, he hadn’t threatened or screamed at Rey when she explained what had happened. Just glared at her with a very expasarated look on his face. 

“Okay look, this is bad. But not as bad as getting hit by a truck.” 

Rey raises an eyebrow at him. “You don’t even want to know. Jesus.” Adam curses, as he tries to sit up and fails. “Does your galaxy have like Vicodin or something?” 

“I’m sorry,” Rey shakes her head, not understanding the reference. Adam’s mouth falls into a thin line, and she knows that look, has seen it stretch across Ben’s face too many times — He’s in pain. She sits down and inches closer to him, a little nervous . “Where does it hurt?” 

“All over.” He grumbles and Rey, with her palms outstretched, asks, “Can I?” 

Adam hesitates, but then nods. Rey places one hand on his forehead and another on his chest, closing her eyes. She’s still a little new to this, the first time she healed someone with the force had been Kylo Ren on the Death Star, and she’d only done it because she sensed Leia die and it felt wrong to kill him then. She couldn’t, not when she’d seen for a moment a shard of light in his mind. Not when there was still a hope in the universe he could still turn. 

When the dust had cleared from Palpatine, she’d been right and because of it, she’d lost him anyway. A pang of guilt runs through her heart, a heart Ben Solo gave his life for. 

“Lady, are you done?” Adam snarks, impatient. Right, force-healing. She shakes her head, focusing back to the task at hand. 

“Sorry,” Rey mutters, “just a moment.” She lets a sliver of the force flow into Adam, eyes closed tight in concentration. 

“Holy fuck.” Adam says a second later, “This is way better than Vicodin.” He sits up, abruptly and suddenly, he’s close enough that Rey can feel his breath on her cheek. “What the hell did you give me?”

“The Force.” Rey responds, honestly. 

“You’re funny for an alien.” Adam grins, letting out a singular sharp laugh.

Rey’s a little dazed at their proximity. She logically knows Adam isn’t Ben, there’s no scar and he talks a bit differently, the words wider somehow. And yet this close, she can’t help but notice they have the same eyes. Rey knows because those eyes were the first thing she saw when she woke up, tender and bruised in Ben’s arms. She knew then that there was no length she wouldn’t go to be held in that stare again.

Adam quiets as he notices Rey watching him, one of her hands still flat against his naked chest. “You okay?”

Rey blinks, stuttering in embarrassment as she pulls her hand back fast. “ _Kriff_ — I’m sorry — It’s just — “ 

“I look like him.” Adam says, finishing her thought. “Your guy. The one you were trying to find.” 

Rey nods, her throat tight. “His name was Ben.” 

“Ben.” Adam repeats, imagining a space nut version of himself. “What was the deal with you two?”

“The deal?”

“Were you dating? Fucking? Did you love him?” Adam asks plainly and Rey sputters, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. 

“What? I — ”

“Ah. All of the above?” Adam sighs, as if he understands perfectly. 

“We kissed.” Rey confesses, finally, saying the words to someone other than herself. Her voice cracks. “And then he just _disappeared.”_

Adam’s eyes widen. “Wow. Like an ending to a bad movie. That fucking sucks, alien lady. ”

“Yes, it isn’t great.” She lets out a watery laugh. “Also I’m not an alien. Well not anymore than you are to me. You can call me Rey.”

“Okay,” Adam sticks out his hand, “Hi, Rey.”

Rey shakes it and Adam’s eyes skate over her again, a little darker this time.

“So, Rey” He says again, letting her hand drop. “Can you send me back to my apartment?”

She nods, biting her lip. “Yes, but I think I should probably wait a couple hours until morning. The force — what I did to find you wasn’t easy and I don’t want to accidentally send you to another planet. You’ve got the face of someone who still has a lot of enemies in this galaxy.” 

“Of course I do.” Adam stands up then, finally taking in their surroundings. “Where the hell are we anyway?”

“Ahch-To.” And when Adam just continues to stare at her, “It’s an island. It’s important to the Jedi so the force is especially strong here. ” 

“The Jedi — that’s the weird space cult you’re part of right?” 

“I don’t — it’s more of a belief system surrounding the Force.”

“Still sounds like a weird space cult.” Adam shrugs at Rey’s upset expression, as if insulting the Jedi on Ahch-To wasn’t blasphemous. She wonders if all people from Earth were as rude as him, or if he was just an outstanding specimen. 

Adam walks into the balcony of the temple, stretching his arms in the cool night. “Those are a lot of stars.” He looks around, a little amazed, before turning back to Rey. “Are we the only ones here?”  
  


“Yes.”

“Huh.” Adam says, before walking back inside and sitting next to Rey again. She watches him warily. “So tell me about him.” 

“What?” Rey just stares back at him, caught off guard. 

“About him. Ben. The guy who has my face and dumped you.” 

Rey frowns. “He didn’t dump me.” 

“You said he disappeared. That sounds an awful lot like being dumped.”

“He didn’t disappear because he… he didn’t like me. He disappeared because he died saving my life.” Rey stammers and for the first time since they met, Adam gives her a surprised look. 

“But he isn’t _dead_.” Rey blurts out, voice shaking. Rey feels her eyes pin prick with tears. “I’d know if he was dead, but I can still feel him. He’s just lost somewhere. I’ll find him. I promise, I’ll find him. ” 

She takes a deep breath, and looks up to see Adam watching her, with so much tenderness like _him_ in that last minute they’d shared in the cold of the Sith Temple, Rey’s vision blurs with tears. 

“Shit. I’m so sorry.” Adam says after a moment, comforting her with a warm hand on her back, rubbing in soft circles as she starts to cry.

“It’s not your fault you look like him.” Rey sniffles, in between small sobs. “But you do. You really look like him. ” 

“It’s okay. If Hannah was gone and I had to deal with her alien doppelganger I’d probably cry too.”

“Who’s Hannah?” 

Adam stiffens a little by her side. “Oh. Just a girl. That I know.” 

“It’s not important.” He adds, his voice quiet. Rey can hear the thud of his heart against her ear, sometime during her crying both his arms had wrapped around her. She hardly knows anything about Adam, aside from what little he’s told her and she doesn’t need anymore information to send him back but she’s curious now, and so she peeks inside his mind. She sees his apartment, his woodworking tools and half-made bed. She sees a girl with medium brown hair, a girl that must be Hannah given the endless loops of their laughter and...love-making in Adam’s mind. Rey blushes as she sifts past that (and there’s quite a lot to sift past), to the headlights of a truck, pain that strikes bone. A doorway, some stairs, Hannah screaming go away, I’m serious, I didn’t even let it ring, sorry, sorry, please leave, a pair of handcuffs. Anger and then, a feeling so dark it makes her own chest tight.

It’s a different story, but nothing she hasn’t felt before. Clearly his eyes aren’t the only trait Adam unknowingly shares with Ben. It makes something twist in her stomach, a flash of heat. 

“Thank you.” Rey whispers and Adam squeezes her tighter in response. 

“Glad I could help.” He says, but Rey can hear the slight flatness in his tone. He’s still thinking about Hannah. 

“But to answer your question, he was...Ben had a temper. Like no other. Not many people could see past that, but somehow I did. But even with the force connecting us, it took me a while to warm up to him. I called him a murderous snake once.” 

Adam laughs at that, and Rey smiles, continuing. “To be fair, he’s killed a lot of people. I watched him murder his own father.” She pauses, remembering Han’s body falling, falling, falling, the burst of darkness inside her. She had wanted to kill Kylo Ren, and if it wasn’t for the rise of the force inside her, she thinks she would’ve. “I didn’t think I could forgive him. ” 

“Fuck. But you did — you forgave him? ” Adam asks, hesitantly. 

Rey turns her head to meet his eyes. “I did because I understood his anger for what it was. Fear. He didn’t want to be alone, and I… I didn’t either.” 

Adam looks down at her, his eyes flickering to her lips and Rey’s breath hitches.

“I still don’t.” She finds herself saying, her palm rising to touch his face and it’s so clear to her once she says it, the obvious tension they’ve been teetering on fissures like glass. 

Adam kisses her first, and it’s nothing like kissing Ben. Kissing Adam is feral, all teeth and tongue and Rey struggles to keep up. He kisses like how Ben fights, a hand around her throat and it makes the heat pool low in her stomach. 

“Rey” He groans, pressing a biting kiss to the underside of her jaw. She straddles his hips, and his other hand falls to roughly rub in between her legs through her wrappings. She’s already wet, and her hips push back against his hand when he says her name like that, sounding so much like Ben in the dreams she’d recently been having. “Fuck, you’re hot. I want to touch you.” 

She nods frantically, in between his biting kisses and then his fingers are there, one pushing inside her as his thumb circles her clit. Rey arches her back as Adam fingers her, fast and hard, the sound of her wetness filling the room. His other hand falls from her neck to undo the rest of her tunic, and suddenly she’s just as topless as he is, her nipples hard in the cold. “Yeah, just like that. You’re so tight, fuck.” 

Adam’s hard underneath her, tenting his jeans. His mouth falls to pepper kisses down her chest, tongue swirling over a nipple before biting down, hard. It’s just the right combination of surprising pleasure and pain that makes her shudder over him, gasping “Oh, _Ben”_ before she can help it. 

Her hand flies to cover her own mouth, embarrassed as the rush of her orgasm fades but Adam doesn’t even flinch, his fingers still fucking her, stoking the fire inside her once more. She drags a hand through his hair to pull him off her chest with a wet sound and looks at him, the confusion apparent on her face. 

“What? I look like him. It’d be weird if you _didn’t_ scream his name.” Adam kisses her deep then, before mumbling against her lips, “Besides, I’m into it.”

+

Adam wasn’t kidding. Rey finally makes him come on her knees, mouth open and desperate, begging “Ben, please, _please_.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, _Rey_ ” He chants his fist a blur over his dick as he paints Rey’s face with a groan. 

+

Afterwards, they lie there together, sweaty and half-naked, dozing in and out of sleep. 

“That was fun.” Adam murmurs, grinning tiredly. He holds her and Rey briefly notices his fingers are different too, calloused where Ben’s were smooth. She realizes she doesn’t mind the differences so much anymore, and some selfish part of her wants to keep him here because while it wasn’t perfect, it was better than nothing. He wasn’t Ben, but he’d pretended to be for her, when they’d been tangled together. 

“If I ever told Hannah I had sex with an alien she'd fucking lose it.” Adam adds, almost to himself, a soft smile on his face. 

Rey blinks, shaking the idea from her head. She’d almost forgotten about Hannah and the darkness inside him. As she watches Adam sleep, his breath steady, she knows more than ever that he needs Hannah, just how Ben needed her. 

Rey closes her eyes, promising to send him back as soon as morning comes.

  
  



End file.
